Together they made a mill race in their garden with a little brick mill house and a sluice from the river.

And they re-staved an old oak barrel for a water-butt, attaching it to a down-pipe.

Derek and Tina worked well together.

Then something she said made him thwack her hard in the face and by evening she had packed some bags and gone off in the Mercedes SL500 that he bought her.

That afternoon, as the water danced through the race, and Telephone by Lady Gaga played in the next door patio, Derek said to Sue and Dennis and me: “Am I sorry or glad? I just don’t know.”

“He’ll find out when it’s too late”, murmured Sue, aside, to her partner.

Derek’s house has electric wrought iron swing gates. He’s the only person in the village who has them.